My mentality once again is about to combust
From this fact of not being able to trust
People will always deceive and lie
As long as in life, it gets them by
But I’m looking towards the sky
As I’m on knees asking god why
Why is it no matter how I hard I try
To keep the truth and keep it honest
People take my heart, and trust, only to taunt it
Rip my heart to shreds and begin to flaunt it
My childhood is full of memories that are haunted
Having to lie about the one that was supposed to be my hero
that’s why my trust as a kid was warped as it began to grow
Because I had no adult example to follow
All I was taught was to lay a web of deceit
I did whatever it took to make him proud of me
But anyone being proud of me, is never a possibility
I Followed all the words that he said
Followed them too hard, now all personality is dead
My eyes once only saw happy, now they are filled with a crimson red
Each tear, is made up of shattered trust and broken heart regret
I’m left now in this world, with only my dead heart and my loneliness
I was naïve and uninformed in my ways of life, realizing as I reminisce
Now I’m wondering how god is going to make me get through this
Through all my battles in life that I’ve been forced to experience
Has taken away the ability to feel happiness and bliss
Only able to feel miss, and the warmth of each tears kiss
No one will ever be able to truly hold my hand
Look into my eyes and tell me they truly understand
I’ll spend eternity searching through this whole land
Trying to find a person who will love me with unconditional love
Until we reach the gates of the heaven above
But someone like that will be hard pressed to find
so spending life living in this sorrow that’s consumed my mind
Its envitable it will stick with me, for all time
I need someone who can look deep in my eyes
See the sorrow that’s locked inside
Let me know they are there, no need for me to hide
And to them ill always be able to confide
No matter how difficult the ride
They will always be my side
Ill never find it, people only see the anger I portray
From living with a heart screaming for suicide each day
So I always scare everyone away
With the fact I already want to reside in a grave
Jesus died, for our sins, every human he forgave
So why is it, that I cant bring myself to say
You know what, what you did to me, its okay
My love for you its still the same way
My open heart for you will never fade
But for me I will never be able to break my pride
My anger and mistrust will always reside
No matter how high the tide of problems may rise
Nothing will take my dignity in life
From this fact of not being able to trust
People will always deceive and lie
As long as in life, it gets them by
But I’m looking towards the sky
As I’m on knees asking god why
Why is it no matter how I hard I try
To keep the truth and keep it honest
People take my heart, and trust, only to taunt it
Rip my heart to shreds and begin to flaunt it
My childhood is full of memories that are haunted
Having to lie about the one that was supposed to be my hero
that’s why my trust as a kid was warped as it began to grow
Because I had no adult example to follow
All I was taught was to lay a web of deceit
I did whatever it took to make him proud of me
But anyone being proud of me, is never a possibility
I Followed all the words that he said
Followed them too hard, now all personality is dead
My eyes once only saw happy, now they are filled with a crimson red
Each tear, is made up of shattered trust and broken heart regret
I’m left now in this world, with only my dead heart and my loneliness
I was naïve and uninformed in my ways of life, realizing as I reminisce
Now I’m wondering how god is going to make me get through this
Through all my battles in life that I’ve been forced to experience
Has taken away the ability to feel happiness and bliss
Only able to feel miss, and the warmth of each tears kiss
No one will ever be able to truly hold my hand
Look into my eyes and tell me they truly understand
I’ll spend eternity searching through this whole land
Trying to find a person who will love me with unconditional love
Until we reach the gates of the heaven above
But someone like that will be hard pressed to find
so spending life living in this sorrow that’s consumed my mind
Its envitable it will stick with me, for all time
I need someone who can look deep in my eyes
See the sorrow that’s locked inside
Let me know they are there, no need for me to hide
And to them ill always be able to confide
No matter how difficult the ride
They will always be my side
Ill never find it, people only see the anger I portray
From living with a heart screaming for suicide each day
So I always scare everyone away
With the fact I already want to reside in a grave
Jesus died, for our sins, every human he forgave
So why is it, that I cant bring myself to say
You know what, what you did to me, its okay
My love for you its still the same way
My open heart for you will never fade
But for me I will never be able to break my pride
My anger and mistrust will always reside
No matter how high the tide of problems may rise
Nothing will take my dignity in life
