When I Miss You

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#1
I haven't been in here for a while let alone dropped anything. But my emotions have been all over the place recently so I decided to post up a piece I wrote not that long ago so I can get it off my chest. I know it's unlike most of my pieces, but I'm hoping the emotion will shine through more than the need for rhyme or extensive use of vocabulary.
I probably won't get to check this as often as I would like to, still any feedback I receive is much appreciated.
Thanks in advance to those who peep.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~


When I Miss You

My heart trembles with each beat
I cry…
Yearning for your touch.
I can hear your voice as I lay down to rest my head.
Whispering “I love you”
I need you…
More than I need the air within my lungs.
The roof over my head
The food within my stomach.
No water will quench my thirst
Only you…
You’re all I long for…crave…
I want to feel you.
Your breath upon my neck,
Each kiss…
Each stroke of your hand…
The way I settle deep into your arms.
Fitting perfectly.
Like a piece of a puzzle, once lost
Now finding its place…
I think about you…constantly
I want you…intensely.
What are you doing right now?
Are you thinking of me too?
My mind’s running away with me…
But I can’t stop.
It’s impossible…
I gave my heart to you
It is yours to keep…
Will you let me keep yours too?
Your smile eases my troubles
And for a blissful moment…I am free.
Free from life and its many burdens..
The doubts are erased within my mind.
I am yours and when I’m with you…
Nothing else matters.
You make me a better person.
The love stems deep within…
Flowing through my veins
You’re my Novacain
Numbing the pain that once existed…
Without you in my life.
I’m lost without you…
Come home to me….
This is what happens when I miss you
I love you…
Para Siempre.
 

k69atie

SicC's Love
#2
Not seen you on here for a while, great to have you back.

Wow, this poem is so emotional, actually bough tears to my eyes whilst i was reading it. I really liked and enjoyed reading this. I could also relate to it.

A great piece of writing, very well written keep up the good work :)
 

Sebastian

Well-Known Member
#3
i can definitely feel what you have written. like u said, the emotions shine through and make a rhyme scheme needless.

seems like you are in love and happy ;)

nice work
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#5
Thanks to k69atie and beReal, I appreciate you taking the time out to peep this. I know I haven't been around in a long ass time, life's pretty hectic right now. Still...I gotta drop in on my fam from time to time. And yes...I'm definately deeply in love. I'm very lucky to have such a special man in my life. Always appreciate the love and feedback. Thank you.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 
#6
if there could be definitions of love, this would be one of them. Excellent job expressing these feelings into words, it isn't always easy to do.
 
#7
You didn't hold back on your truest feelings did ya?
It was nicely written infact. You can tell when certain poems are written "from the heart" so to speak. I respect that. Not much of fan of love poems. But thats a nother story.
You have a few poems with the words "I Miss You" in the title I think...??

Keep dropping your poetry Ivory.

Oh also I just remembered. I'm sure I saw your name on t.v on the music channel (MTV?) a long while back, requesting an Aaliyah song. "We Need A Resolution" hehe. Was it you? You do like Aaliyah..
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#8
^^ LOL...yea that was me, can't believe you saw that. What a small world! Lord knows I'd been requesting it long enough (Lucky for me I switched channels just in time...) Anyway, thanks a lot for peeping, as always...it means a lot to me.
Thanks also to dubk...for a poet, I don't have a lot of words to say, lol. I'm hoping 'thank you' will sum it all up for me though. Appreciate the feedback.
Keep it comin!

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 
#9
but look
this kinda thing its all been said before

try n bring it in a special way

i know its all true and stuff everybody feels this way
but ... try to bring it more original... with words noone ever thought of
thats what writing poems is about
be the first to say things in a way nobody did before
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#10
Poetry isn't a competition, it's about expressing your emotions..whichever way you want to. Like I said, I wasn't thinking of rhyming scheme's or vocabulary in this piece, I was just letting it all flow straight from my heart...not mind.
Still, I appreciate the feedback. I'll keep that in mind.
Thanks for peeping.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 
#11
i didnt say i didnt like it huh ;)
cuz i respect how u put it out there so real
how u showed ur truest feelings
i feel like that too sometimes
and i couldnt do better... though i tried :D
check this:

I know you're still crazy about that other guy
and why is that? only for his pretty smile??
you told me yourself he hurts you inside
so how can i take things light when i know you ain't treathen right.
i don't wanna fight, cause i love you so much.
you can't imagine the pain i feel when he and touch your pretty soul,
which don't mean a thing for him- cause
(and you know) he got other women.
please forget about him, he ain't worth the pain
don't continue like this - it will get you insane
not to mention me, what can i do?
i just wanna help and be with you.
but even when u forget about this guy
i know others will still be in queue
waiting for you and you waiting for them
please understand when i act crazy now and then
I'm hopeless...

forgive me when I tell u how to handle,
i don't wanna hurt you - you're my candle
who gives me light in this life i live
if only i had more to offer i would give
anything your heart can disire,
cause i wanna let u know- you're my fire
i would die for you if i had to
escape to a mansion in spain just to ease the pain
life isn't a game. Sometimes you drive me insane
but it's not your fault, after fire comes rain
i can't go on like this, but im not the only one with problems
the world has aids, hunger and war and conquers
the evil hearts of men... luckely i have you
cause you conquered MY heart, so i know that it's cool
you're not a snake or fake, you're my dearest friend-
what's on ur mind? tell me, i'll give you a hand
I'm hopeless...

always in for a laugh
don't have to worry when i tell u stuff
about my past or my little things
you're always there to listen and that brings
a lot of satisfaction already to me
but i want more... am i that greedy ?
i can't help it though, you must know how i feel
you have had this problem before, it's the same deal
if this world would explode i wouldn't even know
cuz ur always in my head spinning with ideas and you glow
like the brightest star in heaven
which is shining all day, twenty-four seven
is there a chance this star falls down in my hands?
i truly hope so, but i feel sorrow
everything's OK if you'll be there tomorrow
it will give me new hope and i pray for better dayz
to see you once more, that pretty face
I'm hopeless...


btw repped you
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#12
Baukem: Oh no doubt, I appreciate all feedback I receive as long as it's constructive..you know? So thanks again and nice drop...

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 
#13
hey my man i know u posted this poem like 3 weeks ago but i have to rep u man,,,this is without of a shadow of a doubt one of the best poems i have ever reead,,,it's got a great deal of emotion and well written,,,keep it up my man
 
#15
Ivory$horty said:
When I Miss You

My heart trembles with each beat
I cry…
Yearning for your touch.
I can hear your voice as I lay down to rest my head.
Whispering “I love you”
I need you…
More than I need the air within my lungs.
The roof over my head
The food within my stomach.
No water will quench my thirst
Only you…

You’re all I long for…crave…
I want to feel you.
Your breath upon my neck,
Each kiss…
Each stroke of your hand…
The way I settle deep into your arms.
Fitting perfectly.
Like a piece of a puzzle, once lost
Now finding its place…

I think about you…constantly
I want you…intensely.
What are you doing right now?
Are you thinking of me too?
My mind’s running away with me…
But I can’t stop.
It’s impossible…
I gave my heart to you
It is yours to keep…
Will you let me keep yours too?
Your smile eases my troubles
And for a blissful moment…I am free.
Free from life and its many burdens..

The doubts are erased within my mind.
I am yours and when I’m with you…
Nothing else matters.
You make me a better person.
The love stems deep within…
Flowing through my veins
You’re my Novacain
Numbing the pain that once existed…
Without you in my life.
I’m lost without you…
Come home to me….
This is what happens when I miss you
I love you…
Para Siempre.
damn this makes me realise how much i miss reading your poems shorty. this is beautiful, no need for rhymes and big words to understand the powerfulness and simplicity of your love. your emotions poured through the whole of this piece, so honest and personal yet somehow easy to interpret (you'd think love would be alot more difficult to explain somehow) yet judging by this piece it all seems so easy :) i guess this is what it's like when it's true, hope this feeling lasts forever for you girl.

and don't forget about us up in here, take care shorty x

p.s. the lines i highlighted just seemed to really stand out to me - although its perfect it its entirety!
 
#16
i liked this piece, it showed really deep emotion which i enjoy hearing more than rhyming n vocab, it showed deep feelings that touch somepeople, keep up the depth of ur writing it shows more of a person than what they can rhyme
 

Ivory$horty

†PoeticPrincess†
#17
xxsaraxx & jm5471: Thank you both extremely for your responses. I'm glad that my emotions shone through on this piece...it does mean a lot that people can appreciate what I have to express. As difficult as that may be sometimes, I still continue to try my best. Thank you.

To my spaghetti head, I love you deeply....this is my thank you to you.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~
 
#18
felt this completly chicka, I also miss reading ur work, its been a while since ive been uppin here aswel but im glad 2 c talet is still around... U have the gift of rhyming n non rhymin poetry ur words r beautiful and it was trully felt on my behalf i related 2 this a lil more than i expected 2...

I want to feel you.
Your breath upon my neck,
Each kiss…
Each stroke of your hand…
The way I settle deep into your arms.
Fitting perfectly.


My mind’s running away with me…
But I can’t stop.
It’s impossible…
I gave my heart to you
It is yours to keep…
Will you let me keep yours too?
Your smile eases my troubles
And for a blissful moment…I am free.
Free from life and its many burdens..
The doubts are erased within my mind.
I am yours and when I’m with you…
Nothing else matters.

^^ Without pickin ur work in2 pieces these parts stopped me, n ive always said ur work is pure poetry, looks like not much changes.. Nice drop girl, hope 2 c more..

pz.
 
#20
so many emotions in such a simple format.

so touching on the heart, u can feel it from the opening line.

a real beautiful poem, i loved it.

nice drop

xXxXx
 

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