I was going to say to offer a fake 3-some, by having your friend call or something, but that might lead to something awful if he suggests friends. :lol:
So I go with this (since its close to V-Day).
The Secret Admirer
Make some notes, letters,c ards, pictures, drawings, poems, anything you can do creatively, and then ask one of your friends to do something he knows YOU are not good at. That way he wont suspect anything.
1) If he mentions it, just be like "haha, those little girls aint got shit on me." Then mention that guy that has been secretly giving you nudes somehow on your car windshield, then mention that he has a big penis.
2) If he doesn't mention it, hopefully he keeps them. Make it seem like you found one in the mail and tell him its okay b/c someone has been writing you great love poems and you haven't been able to get your mind out of them.
OR
THE ALARM-CLOCK
Mention that he got a call from his boss the night before he got home from work, but due to personal reasons he wouldn't be able to answer if he was to call back.
Claim that a lot of people will be laid off and that his boss wants him to stay, so show up early b/c its first come first serve.
Mess with the alarm clock and have it seem like it went off an hr late, when it really went off an hr early. Then start arguing about how irresponsible he is.
Then say just kidding and have make up sex for an hour or something.