A shrewd observer might observe that out of some 10-30k+ members that used to frequent HitEmUp.com and StreetHop.com in the glory days, we're about 3-12 of us that keep coming back. Keco, Jokerman, dilla, Pittsey, me, Tha Massive Bell, k69atie, and a few others. I know Eric and Big Flipp came back like one evening after 12 years then disappeared again. In fact, in my time, I think I've observed Eric "coming back" like 3 times since 2010+, only to disappear within a week. I just chalk it up to the way you'll meet an old aquaintance when you're out drinking, and you both decide like "yeah we should totally hang out some time" and then you wake up the next day and it never happens. No judgment.
But this thread is not about that. I'm basically wondering why we keep coming back. I was never a "figure" in the "social" part of the 2Pac scene. The whole "Traz" thing had been going on for years before I ever even ventured into My Block. At some point I feel like I got to know a lot of people on here, but I don't feel like I'm a "good representation" of the most active era. No offense, but... I don't feel any of the people I mentioned earlier are either, except maybe Pittsey, dilla and Jokerman. You guys were "figures" back then, and you still are now... at least to me. But why do we all keep coming back to this God-forsaken place? And why does Rukas keep it going? I don't mean to be asking hard questions, I don't want it to end, but I keep coming back to this question in my thoughts. What is it about "us" that makes us.... "us"? And why do we still come back here like once every two weeks? I've been through so many transcendent periods of my life where I grew as a person and as a human being. But I never outgrew this. Why?
Let me go first. Even though I'm living it, I am still terrified of life. If I could go back to MSN chats and forum posts being my social life, and never have to deal with humans, I would do it in an instant. I'm 36 now and still unmarried. Although not quite true I'm also damn near unfucked. Dealing with people on the day-to-day is so difficult some times. But I miss having a girlfriend, which I've had for like 7 of those 36 years. Best years of my life, but every time I meet a new chick I like I start feeling like "this is gonna end up with some bullshit". I don't think I'm an incel, because I don't feel angry. But I never managed to cope with life the way most people seem to be able to. Same time, I don't feel like that's true for every one of you. I reckon Pittsey's a baller. So whatever brings me back here doesn't have to do with my lack of social skills and social motivation, because to the best of my knowledge, some of you are out there doing it. So whatever I got in common with you is not that. So then, what is it? Why do we come back? Also, how are you guys doing in your life?
