Emptyness

[Cown]

I just wrote this, haven’t had that much time to write lately, but I managed to put this together

-

At this blank piece of paper, I stare at empty
I thought I hade more on my mind to tempt me
I thought I had more to utter
I’m so burned inside that my thoughts are thrown in the gutter
I look at the clock, and every time the clock ticks,
I feel like every little part of me slowly breaks
I’ve lost my inspiration and will to write
My mind has gone blank, and my soul creeps further into the night
I’ve lost the passion that once drove me,
The sudden need to express my thoughts so strongly
I fear darkness is overwhelming my troubled mind
I no longer see the beautiful light, that once so amazingly shined
Uncomplicating all my angers and fears
But now there’s no light to be found, or so it sadly appears
The paper is taunting me, wishing for me to fail
The confusion gets worse, paper remains pale
Only option I have is to surrender
I leave the silence to present the words, and all of their splendour

 

[Sebastian]

I fear darkness is overwhelming my troubled mind
I no longer see the beautiful light, that once so amazingly shined

^^
fave lines...probably because i can relate to what u r saying there at the moment. few years/months ago everything was so uncomplicated and now everything seems to be wrong or senseless...

anyway, i like it :thumb:

 

[Levendi]

woah, the last two lines were an awesome finish man, all throughout this i felt like i was reading one of my own poems, were i can never think of anything to write and it just grows from there....

real nice man...

peace.

 

[~live2tell~]

Nice poem and concept, was written very well - keep it up

 

[MonroeThaDon]

i liked the pase of ur poem as u read it u could easily tell how it was upposed 2 be read back

 

[Cown]

^Thanks for the replies guys, apreciate it

MonroeThaDon - How do you mean?

 

[Jocka]

damn.. man thats how i been feelin with my writing lately (since i dont do it much). .poetry used to be like a way of life for me. My anger managment, my smile when i'm down, basically my shrink man... real good stuff here, can completely relate to this!

 

[shattered dreams]

its been a while since ive seen you write, this is a nice poem and im sure all the people who write, has felt this at one time or another. good poem
favorite lines

The sudden need to express my thoughts so strongly
I fear darkness is overwhelming my troubled mind
I no longer see the beautiful light, that once so amazingly shined
Uncomplicating all my angers and fears
But now there’s no light to be found, or so it sadly appears
The paper is taunting me, wishing for me to fail
The confusion gets worse, paper remains pale
Only option I have is to surrender
I leave the silence to present the words, and all of their splendour

 

[jm5471]

My mind has gone blank, and my soul creeps further into the night
I’ve lost the passion that once drove me,
The sudden need to express my thoughts so strongly
I fear darkness is overwhelming my troubled mind
I no longer see the beautiful light, that once so amazingly shined

that groupin was really hot plus the concept of ur poem, when i was reading it i was thinkin of my self jus staring off into space lookin for ideas when my mind goes blank

 

[Cown]

Thank you all for your replies ^^

Glad y'all like it

peace

 

[k69atie]

A great poem, really nice, keep it up

 

[shattered dreams]

nvm i posted on this before. idk how to delete posts. so good poem again.

 

[tomo5000]

good poem, really catches the essence of how somtimes a blank page can be such a challenge when in the past it seems words, thoughts and feelings can just pour out of you almost without effort. liked it alot!

 

[verse]

this is a nice peice
structure was a little weak
nice voc
and i can relate to what you put ALOT
overall nice work kid
8.5/10

 

[Belo]

I liked this poem a lot.. especially the final lines.. and as everyone else has said it is easy to relate to..
The only thing I can pick is that there are two lines in there which don't fit or rhyme with any others.. I'm not sure if this was intentional or an oversight but slightly threw me off whilst reading because I lost the flow
Keep it up, tight writing
Peace
Belo

p.s am I still a mod?

 

[Sebastian]

^
no

 

[Belo]

^
aww how come?

 

[Sebastian]

in short:
after the board got hacked rukas decided to put "street soldiers" in mod positions (few exceptions).so u r no mod at the moment. but he said that step by step the old mods who did a good job can (probably) get their position back..some already have their mod-position back...
so i'll make a suggestion in the "secretz of war" forum that u get your position back..

 

[Belo]

Oh ok.. cool, good looking

 

[Cown]

I liked this poem a lot.. especially the final lines.. and as everyone else has said it is easy to relate to..
The only thing I can pick is that there are two lines in there which don't fit or rhyme with any others.. I'm not sure if this was intentional or an oversight but slightly threw me off whilst reading because I lost the flow
Keep it up, tight writing
Peace
Belo

p.s am I still a mod?

Which lines are those?

Thanks for you all for your replies